I surmise it meant more than just these 4 letters.
To many, like me, memories were captivated since 1995.
A correction to just said, the faithful year should be 1989. At least to me.
We were invited back to our school for a final reunion.
Not for the food please.
But for the many faces that were once acquainted, but never had the will to be in touch with.
We have exchanged numbers, and promised to chill out regularly.
Some Mahjong. Hee. :)
Wretchedness filled me up when we were singing our school song, for the very last time.
Dawn me back to the days where I was in my uniform.
The attitude of that song actually angered me and I turned away from it in disgust. Always!
How much I hated singing the school song then. (My!)
I guess the truth is, we matured!
There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have changed.
You should comprehend why that pinch of heartache lingered in my heart, even till now!
No more SJM. No more school camps invitation. No more peeping from Ah ma's place. No more "BMW" parking lots. No more Tuna Egg. No more St John's & Sister island. No more borrowing tie from lower secondary. No more netball gossiping. No more AVA. No more detentions which I have never obliged to though. No more exchanging of textbooks. No more having my name announced over the PA system. No more detouring from GMPS every morning for being late. No more having not to queue up during recess. No more Ah wai to buy food for me. NO MORE!
Urgg. Ah Wai. My best friend since 5.
We were that closed even our family members knew each other, inside out.
He is gone too.
Life is way too fragile.
One minute we were all cheerfully playing Mahjong, cursing and swearing at all those "Ka Long",
Next moment, I got a phone call from Han Boon Ah Yi.
Shocking me to my death, that my buddy is dead!
Of course there is no one formula for happiness, except perhaps an unconditional acceptance of life and what it brings.
It took me a long while, 3.5 years to acknowledge this fact.
And I have taken it in my stride!
I sound poignant. Yes I am.
These 2 happenings happen to be a waking up call for me.
To treasure what is around me.
It might sound cheesy, but I mean it.
I want to be less condemnatory.
I do not want to be judging more than usual.
I do not want to wake up in the morning and suddenly realize that I have certain boundaries in life and am constantly adding things to my list of what is acceptable and what isn't.
I want to have enough happiness to make me sweet, enough trials to make me strong, enough sorrow to keep me human, and enough hope to make me happy.
More importantly, I want to be more harmonious.
I want to scroll down my phone book, and to be able to double the friends I have now that are willing to drive me to the airport.
And to drive together with me up to the airport to send my darling off to his flight.
Yes I discern it takes time to nurture this special kind of Friendship.
I am working towards it! As much as i hate to upload these pics due to my kuku hair, then again, good things are worth to be shared! :D
4:58 PM
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Strenuous Day
Not exactly a lot of household chores,
Not unerringly not having my shift changed,
I reckon it has a whole lot to do with my darling.
He is currently outstation in Sydney now. Since last nite.
Loneliness, emptiness, they are substantially filling me up right now.
Well that's pretty much why I am in front of my PC, typing this blog.
Absence really makes the heart grows fonder.
Contrary, it could lead to a disastrous scene if matters are not well handled.
Missing him is a breathtaking yet distasteful sentiment.
Ordinary yet extraordinary.
More than 3 years with him, we have never experienced such a parting.
I probably sound sour. I am alright.
If I had the chance to buy time back to the day where I made that decision,
The choice remains intact. On a side off-track note, like what he always says: Never put yourself in a position where you would be tempted.
That is really what I want.
I wish our marriage to toss out of it at sunrise.
If only everyone could buy such a request.
All i want for Xmas is You!
11:08 PM
Perhaps Love
Perhaps love is like a resting place, a shelter from the storm It exists to give you comfort, it is there to keep you warm And in those times of trouble when you are most alone The memory of love will bring you home
Perhaps love is like a window, perhaps an open door It invites you to come closer, it wants to show you more And even if you lose yourself and don't know what to do The memory of love will see you through
Love to some is like a cloud, to some as strong as steel For some a way of living, for some a way to feel And some say love is holding on and some say letting go And some say love is everything, and some say they don't know
Perhaps love is like the ocean, full of conflict, full of pain Like a fire when it's cold outside, or thunder when it rains If I should live forever, and all my dreams come true My memories of love will be of you
Some say love is holding on and some say letting go Some say love is everything and some say they don't know
Perhaps love is like the mountains, full of conflict, full of change Like a fire when it's cold outside, thunder when it rains If I should live forever, and all my dreams come true My memories of love will be of you!
